Miss Manners: His driving was terrifying. Was I wrong to ask him to slow down?

DEAR MISS MANNERS My wife and I visited a friend and her new partner for the weekend Her partner drove us to an outing about miles away and went mph on the highway Related Articles Miss Manners I skipped a party for a colleague I don t like Should I have lied about why Miss Manners I don t like what strangers say about my kids and my husband Miss Manners What do I say to their implication that my grandchildren aren t real Miss Manners I get vulnerable in front of a man and then this happens Miss Manners Don t they know that work email isn t private Despite fearing for our lives we revealed nothing On the way back however I politely questioned the partner if he could please keep his speed under mph He forthwith turned indignant got out of the car and recounted me I should drive and that he would sit in the back with my wife I reported him I would not drive and to just please obey the speed limits After a heated exchange he coldly got back in the car drove more slowly and never reported another word for the rest of the trip It was very uncomfortable Was I right to speak up GENTLE READER If a reasonable person would feel that the alternative to speaking up would have been to be discovered dead by the side of the road when the local constabulary made their rounds Monday morning then this is not an etiquette question The etiquette question is What to do after everyone got back in the car Miss Manners answer is Play dumb After enough time has passed to allow everyone to recover their bearings resume as normal an interaction with your friend as you can muster speaking about other things for the rest of the weekend It won t fool anyone but you have to pass the time several way you are not likely to accept a second invitation and it is better than playing dead DEAR MISS MANNERS I ve received several invitations to large planned events via group text Whether for a retirement party bridal shower or anniversary celebration each message included the image of an invitation with the standard design and presentation This indicated a certain amount of pomp and circumstance and prompted a response I veritably appreciate this new norm as I find that I m more likely to without delay consult my calendar and issue a timely response than I do with mailed invitations I also like that I get to see the rest of the guest list However without an envelope or other specification of addressees it s usually unclear which members of my household are included in the invitation I don t want to seem like I m trying to invite my children to an event that is not intended for them but having to arrange childcare is often a determining factor for whether we attend Related Articles Asking Eric Why did nobody stop the high-strung sister from stealing the valuables Harriette Cole Is this a bad reason to homeschool my daughter Miss Manners I skipped a party for a colleague I don t like Should I have lied about why Dear Abby She s refusing to have a gorgeous wedding like her bridezilla sister s Asking Eric I was demoted and I don t know how to deal with the whispers Is there a polite way to ask for clarification on this point GENTLE READER Send a separate text to the host asking if children are included in the invitation Note the phrasing You are not asking for an exception for your children but rather if the event includes children generally Once you have gotten a response thank the host for the invitation and say you will check calendars and respond expeditiously Miss Manners knows that your response to the event depends on whether the children were invited but there is no reason to let the host know that Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO